My sister sent the mass alert at 8:09 on a Saturday morning. Really, she began the email with, “Alert! Alert!” and continued by writing, “There is a fried dace shortage, thanks to two family members.”
The guilty party of two was TAMS (The Asian Martha Stewart) and her partner-in-crime husband, the self-proclaimed Tool.
According to the Asian supermarket employee whom my sister demanded answers from—my family is kind of, uh, on a first-name basis with this store’s employees—TAMS and Tool had bought practically a whole case of the fried dace, leaving only a small number of cans on the shelf, which my sister snapped up.
Accusations continued to travel through our family gossip-vine. I asked TAMS if the rumor was true. She neither confirmed nor denied my sister’s words. In fact, we didn’t hear back from her at all. (I think she was too busy shooting a wedding with Tool, the nerve of them. I mean, were we family or not?)
We got the truth, days later, as it often happens with these sordid situations of greed. TAMS and Tool had bought ‘only’ 17 cans of fried dace.
So…you may have noticed, especially in this post so far, that I’m a tiny bit of a drama blogger. But I think my overreactions are justified with the subject of this post. See, the fried dace had been unavailable on store shelves for months and months and months, and I didn’t know how much I missed it until I couldn’t open a can up and eat the contents with rice.
Whew.

Dace, Fried, Whole, With Salted Black Beans In Oil is buyable in the United States again, at about four times the previous price—this can cost me $3.99.
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