Salty Raisin

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I tell myself I don’t like raisins. I’ve convinced myself of it. Yet, I find myself biting into oatmeal raisin cookies, tearing into packs of Raisinets, and reaching for a container of Salty Raisin.

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Li Hing Powder

Look, Kitties (and Toms—male cats), I’m going to be straight with you because we’re all friends here: The way to my food-loving heart is to, um, feed me.

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Real-life friends and family know this, bless them, and so a member of the former bought me this Li Hing Powder while he was vacationing in Hawaii.

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I like to think that this friend (hey, Jesus!) was passing along this message, too.

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Lips Candy (Mixed Fruit)

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Altoids got nothin’ on you, Kitty

Nothin’ on you, Kitty

Will I ever stop not-so-secretly loving Hello Kitty things and singing along to catchingly annoying songs on the radio? Let’s hope not for the former. I’d say for the latter, too, but I think passengers in my car would disagree.

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Happy Plum Stick Candy

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Have you ever wondered what kind of sucker Martians would enjoy way yonder in Mars? Because I totally have. Like, just right now.

In the many short seconds I’ve been considering my own ridiculous question, this is what I came up with: Happy Plum Stick Candy.

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The fact that it comes with a cryptic warning further cements my well-thought-out answer.

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Japanese BBQ Wheat Cracker (Japanese Ramen/Cube)

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It’s a Monday; do you know where your smile is?

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Turn your frown upside down!

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Withhh…a good good eat!

(I do not work in marketing or advertising, much to no one’s surprise, I’m sure.)

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