I tell myself I don’t like raisins. I’ve convinced myself of it. Yet, I find myself biting into oatmeal raisin cookies, tearing into packs of Raisinets, and reaching for a container of Salty Raisin.
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Look, Kitties (and Toms—male cats), I’m going to be straight with you because we’re all friends here: The way to my food-loving heart is to, um, feed me.
Real-life friends and family know this, bless them, and so a member of the former bought me this Li Hing Powder while he was vacationing in Hawaii.
I like to think that this friend (hey, Jesus!) was passing along this message, too.
Altoids got nothin’ on you, Kitty Nothin’ on you, Kitty Will I ever stop not-so-secretly loving Hello Kitty things and singing along to catchingly annoying songs on the radio? Let’s hope not for the former. I’d say for the latter, too, but I think passengers in my car would disagree.
Have you ever wondered what kind of sucker Martians would enjoy way yonder in Mars? Because I totally have. Like, just right now. In the many short seconds I’ve been considering my own ridiculous question, this is what I came up with: Happy Plum Stick Candy.
The fact that it comes with a cryptic warning further cements my well-thought-out answer.
It’s a Monday; do you know where your smile is?
Turn your frown upside down!
Withhh…a good good eat! (I do not work in marketing or advertising, much to no one’s surprise, I’m sure.) |
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